Light vs Darkness

We were of pure light, born into flesh.  Born into a world of hurt and chaos. We have forgotten where we came from. Forgotten the point of existence.  We must learn once again how to find peace within ourselves, find the light that resides there still.  On earth we are different.  We are faced with needs and desires, which are often referred to as our dark selves.  We all have a darkness, even when we are trying to be our best, it waits.  When we give ourselves to the darkness, we are capable of horrendous acts and only when we give in, do we know it.  Slowly we must wake up to a greater reality, the point of all this.  We are here for an experience and nothing more.  We are not here to become rich, famous, own a fancy car, or even to become that successful...fill in the blank.  We are just here.  Here to learn and to experience what it is to become human.  The yearning we have for something more in life, is merely the amnesia we suffer from having been born to this earth.

The Dark Child

This past fall, my girls had experienced a presence in their bedroom at night.  It started with my 11 yr. old daughter, Maya.  She woke up one evening about 3:00 am, terrified.  She yelled for me and I went into the bedroom.  She said she woke up and opened her eyes to see a girl sitting in front of her closet, looking toward their window.  She said she was so frightened that she just closed her eyes and pretended to sleep.  A few minutes later, she opened her eyes and nothing was there.  She yelled for me and eventually I heard her and woke up.  When she told me about it, I thought that she might have been dreaming, but she was convinced she had seen it.

The following evening, my other daughter, Morgan who is 10yrs. old, yelled for me in the middle of the night.  I got up again and went into their bedroom, thinking she just woke up scared.  Well, she is on the top bunk of their bunkbeds, and opened her eyes while facing toward the middle of their room.  There on the floor, same spot as my other daughter saw this girl... there she was again.  But Morgan thought it was her sister, Maya.  She asked, "Maya, what are you doing?"  This girl sitting on the floor, looked up toward Morgan with a big smile on her face and tilted her head to one side.  Then Morgan yelled at the girl, "Stop it Maya, you're scaring me."  Then she felt the bed shift a little bit, and she realized that her sister was still asleep on the bottom bunk.  She closed her eyes and yelled for me- brave girl I say.  She was completely terrified, can't blame her.  I brought her into the living room and we slept together on the couch while watching TV with the kitchen light on.

It took weeks of saging and cleansing to get the energy back to normal.  We called upon Arch Angel Michael for daily cleansing of our home, and finally this entity's presence left us.  It shook up the household for a long time and now my girls have four.. that's right four night lights in their room, and its been that way ever since.

Some parents don't let their kids have night lights, but if they only knew how night lights actually helped.  If kids are seeing things at night, the more light you have in the room, the harder it is to see this kind of energy/entity.  Of course not always... I've seen things in the middle of the day.  But for those things slinking in the night, it's a lot easier to see them in the dark.

The Disembodied Voice

My sister just recently had a baby boy, Max.  She had an emergency c-section so she has been sleeping downstairs in the living room with the baby sleeping in one of those portable sleepers.  Sometimes she will go upstairs to use the rocking chair to feed him and put him to sleep.  She had been debating trying to get him to sleep in his crib recently, since he is a little over 2 months old.  She had gone into his room for something when she had noticed movement from the corner of her eye.  When she looked toward his crib, hovering over the crib was a black swirling mist, that seemed to suck up into the ceiling and disappear.  Well, since then she decided that putting him into his crib at this time was not an option.  She had also been experiencing their touch light for the china cabinet in the dining room going on and off by itself.  Since she had seen the black mist, it was doing it more often.


I had offered her some of my holy water, which I wanted to place into a special glass spray bottle for easy use.  She said that she would definitely want it and I would give it to her the next time I saw her, but if something else happened to let me know and I would get it to her ASAP.  Not more than a week later, she was just getting out of the shower and walked into her bedroom.  She heard a very clear male voice angrily ask, "What are you doing here?"  Startled, she looked for her husband, calling out his name, knowing that he was the only man in the house.  She later told me that she could tell exactly where the voice had come from.  It called out from the far side of the bedroom, and she described it as an angry whisper, but very clear.  That really shook her.


I saw her that weekend and gave her the bottle of holy water that I had infused with frankincense.  Frankincense is an essential oil that resonates on a more spiritual plane, it is used in meditation to gain more profound insights, and widely known as a gift given to Jesus in the Christian religion.  She took it and sprayed it throughout the home and hasn't had another incident yet.  We are still trying to figure out who this man was and what he was doing there.  I told her that I would come to her home and try to get some answers, but she does not want to rile things up for fear that harm would come to her newborn son.  So far I have not heard of any other news, but I will keep everyone up to date!

Life Purpose

Most everyone wants to know their purpose in life and usually this is thought of as, "what am I supposed to be doing for a living?"  Here is something I came across that makes perfect sense to me.  So instead of running to your nearest psychic, try out this exercise and see what comes of it.


Put your interests into two categories, one that fills up your time and one that is creative or productive.  Write out all the things that you do or enjoy doing.  See if there is something you actually enjoy doing that is in the productive category and let it simmer.  There is something everyone enjoys doing that falls into this category- that is what you should be doing in life.  It's as simple as that, but now you actually have to figure out how to make enough money with it to live comfortably.  Each day do something related to that interest, for example:  read an article or book related to that career topic, write a paragraph or more for your article or book, send query letters to literary agents, magazines, or publishers, join a networking group, create business cards, research speaking venues, ask for divine help, support, and guidance.  With each step you take, you will stay motivated and start to meet the right people and doors will begin to open.  Shove any fears aside and put yourself out there because if you don't, you're letting fear control you and take away your happiness.  Don't let those enjoyable time fillers take over, for they only create temporary fulfillment and will prevent you from a life filled with abundance in health, wealth, and happiness.


This may sound funny but don't share this dream with anybody until you get the ball rolling.  Everyone dreams of doing what they love for a career, so if you share that with even a family member or your closest friend, they may become jealous and subconsciously sabotage your efforts.  I have so been there and have put off my true dreams for too long.  Now I find myself split into other areas of interest because I was told I wasn't good enough, not by professionals in the field but by family and friends.  Although they may have not directly said the words,"you're not good enough", there were suggestive comments and tone.  Don't let this happen to you.


If you still can't figure out after this exercise what you should pursue as a career or are just at a total loss... shoot me an email or post a comment, we can try an oracle card reading and see what they say.

The Ouija Board

Who believes the Ouija Board can actually do what it claims?  I recently was watching part of a show by Penn and Teller to debunk the Ouija Board.  Scientists have done studies that show the presence of something rather normal, other than spirit contact when people use a Ouija Board.  Scientists explain the event with the idea of unconsious movements of those controlling the pointer- a psychophysiological phemonenon known as the ideomotor effect.  As in the pain reflex, the body sometimes reacts reflexively to ideas alone without the person deciding to take action.  Included in this ideomotor effect idea is:  automatic writing, dowsing, facilitated communication, and the spirit board. 


As you can see I am not one who really sways easily.  Like many out there a healthy dose of skeptisism is good, or we'd all be gullible messes.  I am very open to new ideas though, which is also very important.  This ideomotor effect can also sound a lot like what many call, intuition.  I suppose those with no spiritual beliefs would like to think that our bodies alone can come up with crazy ideas that could inspire thousands.  How can it be a greater force other than what is physical matter?!


Anyway, my personal beliefs will remain the same- I actually do believe in the Ouija Board with it's ability to open one up to the spiritual world.  I will tell you why- personal experience.  I could easily not believe in something without having some kind of experience with it.  I have had a few experiences, but I will share the most interesting and terrifying one.


I was in high school, about 17 yrs. old.  I was staying the night at a friend's house, where her younger brother also had a friend staying over.  Her and I went up into her room and decided to make our own Ouija Board out of a piece of paper and then a paper football for the pointer.  We taped the written out Ouija paper onto a calendar and laid it onto a pillow.  Her brother's friend wanted to watch but quickly fell asleep on the floor by the foot of the bed (he was only a year or two younger).  We sat on her bed sitting directly across from each other and the pillow resting on our yoga crossed legs.  We opened ourselves up to anything that was willing to talk to us (which is a really bad idea).  Quickly we started getting responses to all of our questions.  The answers started coming with more speed and the pointer moved very quickly, with our fingers only slightly touching it.


After about an hour of what was seemingly not malicious conversation.  I realized that it knew everything, so I asked it, "Who is this?"  At first it tried to lie to us, saying that it was one of her brother's friends that we knew was alive.  After we asked it again, the energy in the room became very heavy.  Time seemed to have slowed down.  I felt an intense, heavy weight come down onto my shoulders.  The pointer moved slowly this time, D.  Then it moved to E.  I knew just then what it was about to do next... it went to the V.  Feeling like I could barely move, I slowly looked up at my friend who sat across from me.  I had this overwhelming wave of hatred come over me, I felt as if I wanted to reach across and grab her throat.  She looked back over to me, and I could see the fear in her eyes.  The Ouija Board flew up at me.  We both jumped off the bed and I yelled, "Why did you throw that at me?"  She replied," I didn't."


The room became very intense, we were loud but her brother's friend wouldn't wake up.  I knew I didn't feel right but I couldn't control my thoughts, my words, but I tried to control my actions so I wouldn't hurt her.  I had come into some kind of possession.  We went down into her basement where her brother was, so she could wake him up.  She didn't want to be alone with me.  She said that I didn't look right.  I didn't feel right either, but I wasn't able to tell her.  It was as if I was watching a movie.  We managed to get through the night, but this went on for at least a week.  I remember this entity having been very pleased with itself.  I couldn't really feel my body, and when I walked it was as if I were floating.  I felt very light and nonphysical.


I tried getting my friend to come over, well- he did.  He finally had convinced her to come over to talk and we went for a walk.  It was just getting to be dusk, and we were walking in the country next to a creek.  He tried convincing her that all was okay, but she could still tell that it wasn't me.  Suddenly I felt his evil thoughts, and there were strange sounds that started to surround us, and the wind began to pick up.  It kind of sounded like cows or grunting.  Totally freaked out, she said that she was leaving.


She wouldn't talk to me or come to visit me.  Finally, she told me that the only way that she would see me again was if I would go and talk to her pastor with her mother.  I laughed and told her that I would do it.  I remember walking into this nondenominational christian church thinking that this was a joke.  I sat with my friend and her mom in the pastor's office.  He spoke with me about the things that were in my house, the ghosts I have seen and how they tormented me.  He got me very emotional that I started crying.  I started to feel solid again.  He took us all into a circle and everyone started praying.  I must say that it really worked.  I felt like me again.  As soon as I stepped out of that church and looked up at the sky, it felt like I was seeing the world for the first time.  My friend said, "Look at me." I turned to her and looked into her in the eyes.  "Now you're back," she said.


That was the end of our adventure with the Ouija Board.  At least this was what I could recall from my perspective.  I had learned my lesson from then on, not to "play" with the Ouija Board.  Have I used one since?  Yes, you must learn how to use it properly and how to maintain protection from lower energy beings.  I don't keep one in my house and I have never bought one.  I really don't have the need for using one anymore.  I prefer using oracle cards of some sort, as there is no history of any negative attachments.  I use various Angel Oracle Cards & the Ascended Masters Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue, Wisdom of the Hidden Realms Oracle Cards by Colette Baron-Reid, and Shadowscapes tarot cards by Stephanie Pui-Mun Law & Barbara Moore.  All of these decks are beautiful, inspiring, and with a clear mind- very accurate.


For me, the Ouija Board is nothing to take lightly.  It was marketed as a game of imagination and entertainment, but it has become much more.  If you have had an experience with the Ouija Board, I'd love to hear it!

Protection and Clearing

Halloween really isn't supposed to be about scary things that go bump in the night, but it seems that it has migrated in that direction.  It's all in good fun and who doesn't like a good scare.  Today, I thought that it would be fitting to talk about how to keep things that you don't want in your living space- out.  Whatever your reason is for putting protection around your home, it isn't a bad idea all around.


There are many ways to keep spirits at bay, one of my favorite ways is to use a smudge stick.  A smudge stick can be made of a single herb or a combination of different herbs.  White sage is most commonly used in the North American Native tradition, and is the one that I favor.  The herbs are tied together with cotton, linen, or hemp.  These have been used for many years to clear negative energies and are used in Shamanism.  You can pick these up at your local new age shop or find an online spiritual store.


When using a smudge stick to clear the energies in your home, first make your intention clear.  Also, make sure to have your windows open for the smoke and negative energies to exit.  Light the smudge stick and let the flame go out to let it smolder.  This will give off quite a bit of smoke.  Fan the smoke into all the corners of your home and make sure to open all the doors, closets, and let the smoke linger in any nook or cranny that you are drawn to.  You can say either to yourself or out loud that you are clearing any negative energies present, or if you believe there are unwanted visitors- tell them that they must leave now.


After you are done smudging your home, I like to imagine a brilliant white light filling every room.  This light is a way to seal what you have just cleared.  I like to do this on a somewhat regular basis, either as the seasons change or if there is negative energy in the air- someone experiencing anger or sadness.


 This has been a proven method of clearing a space or person.  My two year old daughter had once told me that her friends in the closet didn't like the smoke.  They went away and did not come back.  Anyone can use this method for clearing and protection, just make sure you don't set off any smoke alarms!

Innocents We Have Lost

Children and unborn infants who lost their lives.  This is a very difficult topic for anyone who has lost a child.  There are so many unanswered questions that we have, but the biggest question is why?  Why have they been prematurely taken from this world and their families?  There are so many different answers out there.  We want the answers but then again, no answer is acceptable.


In the particular case of those who did not even make it completely into this world, your heart breaks into the many what if's, and the so many memories that will never be shared.  I know first hand what it is like to lose a child that wanted so much to be a part of your life.  This coming Thursday of last year was when we lost Jack.  He was not planned but was foretold.


There were two different individuals that had told us about the coming of our son, even before we were officially a couple.  There was one person, a friend of a friend, who had special gifts of sight.  He had casually told me that I would have a son.  I didn't know him at all personally- just an acquaintance.  Then there was a woman who I had visited every five or so years.  Yes, she was a clairvoyant- and a very good one.  She was completely legitimate; she was a psychotherapist with a long background of counseling others.  When I had hit a brick wall in my life, I sought her out for some direction.


It was a three hour drive to a town I had never been to.  I had lost track of her for some time but found her in a New Age magazine that I had come across.  There she was, doing readings- like I was meant to find this advertisement for this little new age shop.   I had been dating Christian for a little while and dragged him with me.  During my reading she told me how he brought peace into my life and told me that he may be the one.  She also told me that if I choose to have another child, it will be a boy.  Since this meeting, I have lost track of Joanne.  I hope that this day finds her well.


After I had lost Jack, I fell into great despair.  The list of, "what did I do wrong", piled into my head.  Not only was losing him a horrible weight to bare, but so was the depression that Christian had fallen into.  I felt that I had failed them both.  It was not only that we had lost him, but the way we had lost him as well that tormented me.  Unfortunately, he had passed during the early morning and I had to cut his life line to me.  These horrible images I could not get out of my head.  With Christian stuck in his own bubble, I turned to my friend Mary Anne for healing.


Mary Anne is a licensed massage therapist and bodyworker.  Her background is heavily based in energy work and oriental methods.  She and I have a very similar mind set when it comes to spirituality.  She is one of the sweetest people you could ever meet and I trust her completely.  She and I met one day so she could perform an energy work session for me to aid in healing my broken spirit.  I will never forget what she did for me that day.  She asked if I may see my son to know that he was alright, if I consented to it.  She asked this in silence without my knowing.  During the session, I felt myself leave for awhile.  There was so much light and joy.  There were people standing around, but I couldn't clearly make out any faces.  Then before me, there was someone holding a baby.  The baby laughed and wiggled... it was Jack.  I could feel that he didn't want me to be sad.  A wave of relief had come over me and I couldn't let him down with my continued depression, but I still missed him so very much.


At the end of our session.  Mary Anne had also told me that she received a message, "not ready yet."  I'm not sure who wasn't ready yet, although it could have been me as I was such an emotional wreck then entire time I was pregnant.  It could also have been the circumstances of our unstable life situation.  Whatever it was, "yet" still rings in my ears.


Shortly after this event, I had bought a book by Doreen Virtue, PhD, How To Hear Your Angels.  It was in this book I read, children that don't grow to full term births stay by their mother's sides.  These souls then have "first dibs" on the next body that the mother conceives.  So if you have another child, there is a good chance that this is the same soul.  If you do not conceive again, the soul may grow up next to the mother and become a spirit guide or the soul will enter into the physical world through the mother's family in another way, such as adoption, or by becoming a niece or nephew.  She also notes an excerpt from A Course in Miracles, that "no one dies without his own consent."  As I read on to personal accounts in her book, I had hopes that I would see Jack again, in this life.


He was not planned but foretold.  A child meant to be.  Jack will always remain in our hearts and I will be awaiting his return.  I love you Jack.

Why do we get "Visitors"?

"The Guardian Angel" by Heilige Schutzengel.  A meaningful picture that hung on my wall as a small child.

Why do we get "visitors"?  There are so many things that come into play here.  First of all, is there somebody that has recently passed away?  If you answered yes, then there is a very good chance they are there to make sure you are okay.  Many times our loved ones need to make sure that we are going to emotionally survive with the event of their passing, or have general concern for your well being.  This requires some resolution or closure before they can completely move on to the next stage of their lives.  


Some visitors you may not even know.  It's very possible that the location itself is the reason you have lingering visitors.  Whether it is the building, or land the spirit is attached to.  If that is the case- there are at least two possibilities to these types of "disturbances".  One is residual energy.  Some emotionally charged event had taken place there and keeps repeating itself over and over.  Most times it is a negative event- unfortunately those feelings are hard to release.  Another is an actual intelligent being.  You know this is the case when you try to interact with it and you get some sort of response.  If they are on your property, by all means tell them they are not welcome and sometimes that is enough for them to leave.


Anyone remember "The Secret"?  No matter how cheesy that film was, what I recall of it rings true.  Also in my personal experiences.. negative energies attract negative energies.. or entities in this case.  A person can also be a catalyst for paranormal experiences.  Someone that is haunted is breeding negative energy for other negative energy to feed off of.  Sometimes teens going through tough "teen times" triggers it, or just a really angry, negative individual.  Basically you need to keep that negative attitude in check and kick the leech that's steeling your energy.  It can even make matters worse in the way of bringing about more negative behaviors into your life.  So if you know someone who is in a fast downward spiral, there is a possibility they are being influenced by an otherworldly, not so nice friend.


We can also have very positive visitors.  At the time we see or hear them, we may not recognize them at all.  If they have positive, caring energy, they may just be a spirit guide.  Many children see spirit guides, angles and passed relatives.  If you reach out to connect with these guides of love and light, you need to make sure that is exactly what they are.  You first need to make your intention clear that you only want to connect with those helpers on the other side with the highest intentions for your greatest good- those beings of light and love.  Spirit guides can be many different people that have once lead lives on this plane of existence.  It could be a passed friend, relative, or maybe an experienced healer or saint.  You can also call upon higher beings from the angelic realm for daily assistance.  I urge you to call upon them for protection under any circumstances when you're feeling afraid.


Some of this may be hard to chew and even harder to swallow, I know because I have been there too.  Sometimes I doubt, when I know I shouldn't; but when it's staring at you in the face- it's hard to deny.

Shadow Creatures

A shadow creature is similar to a shadow person but not a human form.  But what is it?  That is a good question.  A shadow person in my opinion is a negative human energy.  Some have ideas that they are also demons.  I have yet to come across a true "demon"... although I have had experiences of an entity to claim to be the Devil.  I think there are some bad people out there and this continues in the afterlife if for whatever reason they do not move on.  Without a human physical form, energy- good or bad, can take many forms.  I believe that negative energies are people that are stuck that want to bully others as they did when they were living.


I have also seen other types of shadow creatures, that I don't believe are human at all.  They actually appear to be animals.  I had an experience with a creature, I want to call a shadow dog.  Now, when I was a kid 12+ years old,  I had a black cocker spaniel.  Many times in my home I thought that my dog was darting across the floor but she was not there.  This would happen a lot while sitting in the living room at night with all the lights off, while watching TV.  This thing was fast moving, no consistency in pattern and sporadic.  Come to find out, my sister and father had also seen this in the house.  They all thought that it was our dog at first, but she was either not in the room or was lying on the couch with us.  This thing was not scary, just surprising.


Another account was when I was living in an apartment.  It was actually my daughter that had the experience.  My daughter was about 4yrs. old at the time.  She told me that there was a dog that guarded the bathroom at night, it was all black.  It would walk back and forth in the hallway in front of the door.  She was scared, but would wait until the dog was furthest away from the door and quickly run into the bathroom.  She still remembers it to this day.


It is possible that these are animals or pets that have passed on.  Why they look like shadows, I do not know.  Maybe it's possible that it's we that only perceive them as shadows and not what they truly looked like in real life.  Could be due to our lack of ability in clear perception to these energies.  Or the energies are not strong enough to be clear to us on the physical plane.  Whatever the reasons that hold these people and creatures to this plane of existence, it seems they are stuck until they find whatever they are searching for.

Is Sleep Paralysis a Paranormal Experience?

The Nightmare, by Henry Fuseli (1781) is thought to be one of the classic depictions of sleep paralysis perceived as Demonic visitation.

According to Wikipedia, sleep paralysis occurs when a person is falling asleep or waking from sleep.  It is physiologically related to what occurs naturally during REM sleep.  During sleep paralysis one can experience terrifying hallucinations and panic.  They may even think that they were having a vivid dream.  Those that do encounter this state find that it occurs while sleeping on their backs.

Many countries share similar folklore about sleep paralysis.  In Swedish folklore, it is said that it's caused by a supernatural creature similar to a werewolf, called a Mare.  In Turkey, they believe the classic story of a demon visiting during sleep.  A demon, most commonly known as Djinn, holds you down and will begin to strangle you.  Some also say they hear the voice of Djinn.  In Chinese culture, sleep paralysis is known as pinyin, which literally translates to "ghost pressing on body".  "The Old Hag", is a British and North American lore.  She sits on her victim's chest at night making breathing difficult.  The stories are very similar, all pointing to something paranormal.  There really aren't any reasonable or scientific explanations for sleep paralysis at this time.  Sleep paralysis is still being researched.

When I was around 14 yrs. old I had a terrifying experience with sleep paralysis.  As I had mentioned in earlier posts, I had something to be scared of at night.  Imagine the fear of falling asleep when you feel like you're being watched.  When your back faces your bedroom door and you sense a presence behind you.  I never slept with my back facing my bedroom door, and when this did happen I was lying on my back just as the research states.  I had woken up in the middle of the night, but it was as if I couldn't completely wake up.  I could not speak, I could not focus at first; it was as if I was drugged.  My mind became clear and I wanted to wake up.  I tried to sit up but I couldn't.  I started to kick and flay my arms, but it was as if I was being held down.  I felt the pressure on my body.  After only seconds of struggling which seemed like an eternity, I hit my elbow against the wall on my right.  A loud hollow bang seemed to echo in my ears which broke the force that was holding me down.  I finally sprung up in my bed as I dripped in sweat.  Was it a negative energy attacking me in my sleep?  It sure felt real to me.